Chow Down . . . .

Now for a break from our regularly scheduled program:



Hungry now ? ? ? ?

Barney & Gomer Coming to Your Neighbourhood Soon . . . .

As soon as harperco "improves" their citizen's arrest legislation, we can all live like we were in Mayberry, North Carolina.



Yee haw . . . .

Wanna do a pole trick ? ? ? ?

This article from the local paper in our former homeland is too good to pass up. Here in it's entirety because as "drf" says, there's too many good lines to single out just a few*:

Bikini-clad strippers protest church in rural Ohio
August 27, 2010

By JEANNIE NUSS
Associated Press Writer

Strippers dressed in bikinis sunbathe in lawn chairs, their backs turned toward the gray clapboard church where men in ties and women in full-length skirts flock to Sunday morning services.

The strippers, fueled by Cheetos and nicotine, are protesting a fundamentalist Christian church whose Bible-brandishing congregants have picketed the club where they work.

The dancers roll up with signs carrying messages adapted from Scripture, such as "Do unto others as you would have done unto you," to counter church members who for four years have photographed license plates of patrons and asked them if their mothers and wives know their whereabouts.

The dueling demonstrations play out in central Ohio, where nine miles of cornfields and Amish-buggy crossing signs separate The Fox Hole strip club from New Beginnings Ministries.

Club owner Tommy George met with the preacher and offered to call off his not-quite-nude crew from their three-month-long protest if the church responds in kind. But pastor Bill Dunfee believes that a higher power has tasked him with shutting down the strip club.

"As a Christian community, we cannot share territory with the devil," Dunfee said. "Light and darkness cannot exist together, so The Fox Hole has got to go."

New Beginnings is one of four churches in this one-traffic-light village of 900 people, 60 miles outside Columbus. There's one gas station and a sit-down restaurant that serves country staples like mashed potatoes with gravy and Salisbury steak.

On Sunday, four of The Fox Hole's seven strippers and more than a dozen supporters garnered both scorn and compassion from churchgoers — and quite a few honks from pickup trucks and other passing vehicles.

One woman offered her skills as a hair dresser to the dancers: "If you or your kids ever need a haircut, give me a holler." Another woman from the church waited on the protesters with plates of noodles and chocolate cake.

Laura Meske — known as Lola, stage age 36 but really 42 — hid behind a sign proclaiming, "Jesus loves the children of the world!" as the preacher extended his hand for a shake.

Two nights earlier, Dunfee and more than a dozen churchgoers stood outside the club, one of them calling out Meske's stripper name.

"He who casts the first stone ... ," Meske said Sunday.

The pastor cut her off and repeated, "Lola, Lord bless you."

"Everybody has sinned, and that doesn't mean I'm not gonna get into heaven," she said, the stud piercing in her chin shimmering in the sunlight. "I believe in Jesus. I don't believe what they preach. They preach hate."

Debi Durr, who attends the church, disagreed. "You don't stand up there for four years for hate. That's not hate. That's love," she said. Durr left Meske with a copy of Jeremiah 3:13 — a Bible passage that urges sinners to acknowledge their guilt.

Inside the church, voices from the 121 congregants seemed to float to the cedar rafters as they sang lyrics projected on a screen. Outside, a man strummed a guitar and sang, "God forbid you ever had to walk a mile in her shoes."

Dunfee has offered to help the strippers pay for food, rent, utilities and gas if they leave The Fox Hole. But many of the women say their jobs are only a stopover on the way to work in cosmetology or the medical field — a meal ticket that shelters them from another stigma: welfare.

"No little girl is growing up like, `I wanna do a pole trick,'" said Anny Donewald, a former stripper who lives in Grand Rapids, Mich., and ministers to dancers, prostitutes and porn stars.

She and other Christian groups that work with women in the adult entertainment industry have criticized Dunfee's methods of ministry as a means of putting the strippers on the defensive instead of showing support.

"I never saw Jesus with a picket sign," Donewald said.

Community advocacy groups, including Citizens for Community Values in Cincinnati, support Dunfee's protests. But the group's president, Phil Burress, said the strip club has a right to be there.

"It's a legal business whether he likes it or I like it or not," Burress said.

The club operates in a white plywood box of a building. Beer cans and a dollar bill peaked out from the grass like Easter eggs last Sunday.

The Fox Hole encourages customers to check out its $30 private dance special, promoting it on the kind of sign convenience stores use to advertise cheap milk and cigarettes. Out back, letters on a bulletin board have faded away so that "No touching" now reads "ouch."

It's here where dancers strip down to panties and pasties for cash. Meske — a tattooed mother of four — said she made $30 instead of a couple hundred dollars last Friday with the protesters outside.

"I'm not the most beautiful woman in the world," she said. "I go out there and I try to make my money."

A few houses and a ribs joint called Peggy Sue's separate the club from another white building, a church where some of the strippers donate blood during drives for the American Red Cross.

"I got a church 900 feet down the street that causes me no problems," club owner George said. "And I got this moron nine miles down the street that causes me more headaches."

Rae Anderson, who heads New Castle Ministries with her husband, says her church believes Dunfee is doing what the Lord called him to do, but her parish takes a different approach.

"You can share the truth, but you can't make anyone believe what you believe."

Life in the Excited States.

Rather nice looking at it from up here north of the 49th . . . .

* Although, this one did give me particular chuckles: But many of the women say their jobs are only a stopover on the way to work in cosmetology

Smoke 'Em if You've Got 'Em . . . .

Quite the interesting contraption, would you not agree?

Used extensively in Ottawa, Victoria and Washington, DC.

(Click to enlarge)

Gives a whole new meaning to "Let's go outside and light up a butt," eh ? ? ? ?

H/T "drf"

Cougar, Hell . . . .

Tuesday humour . . . .



H/T "The Olde Goat"

Grannies Flee to Canada . . . .

As published today at The Borowitz Report:

Fox News Reports: Millions of Grannies Flee U.S. as Death Panels Loom

Glenn Beck: "Run For Your Lives"

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) - With the establishment of government-mandated death panels just days away, grandmothers began fleeing the United States in record numbers today, reports Fox News.

"I am never one to yell ‘Fire' in a crowded theater," said Fox News host Glenn Beck. "But run for your lives!"

Across the country, slow-moving caravans of 1980s-era Cadillacs with turn signals blinking were making the torturous journey to the Canadian border, their back seats laden with cats, knitting projects, and bottles of Ensure.

Fox News may have set off the mass exodus by warning grannies that if they did not flee quickly enough they would face government-mandated organ harvesting.

Elsewhere, anti-healthcare protesters objected to the language of the House bill, saying there were too many polysyllabic words.

Be afraid.

Be very afraid . . . .

Stealth Public Option . . . .

This one from SF Gate is too good to edit or trim down:

The menace of the public option

M.C. Blakeman | Saturday, September 19, 2009

Of all the current assaults on our noble republic, perhaps none is more dangerous than the public option - specifically, the public library option.

For far too long, this menace has undermined the very foundations of our economy. While companies like Amazon and Barnes & Noble struggle valiantly each day to sell books, these communistic cabals known as libraries undercut the hard work of good corporate citizens by letting people read their books for free. How is the private sector supposed to compete with free? And just what does this public option give us? People can spend hours and hours in these dens of socialism without having to buy so much as a cappuccino. Furthermore, not only can anyone read books for free in the library, they can take them home, too. They get a simple card that can be used at any library in town. No checking on the previous condition of books they've read. No literacy test. Nothing. Yet, do these libertines of literature let you choose any book you want, anytime you want it? No. Have you ever tried to get the latest best-seller at a public library? They put you on a waiting list for that, my friend. And if you do ask these government apparatchiks a question about a book, they start talking your ear off, and pretty soon they're telling you what to read.

Of course, if you break one of their petty rules and return a book late, you have to pay fines that mount grotesquely each day. Even if you die, your overdue fees keep piling up. Is that not a death tax? How long must the elderly live in fear of burdening their children with these unfair sanctions on their estates?

Don't be fooled for a minute. Somebody has to pay for these "free" libraries, and I'll tell you who it is, pal. Those good ol' suckers, the American taxpayers, that's who.

Have you ever wondered who's really behind this public library option? And don't you think it's fishy that they mask their nefarious activities with benign-sounding names, like Friends of the Library? What's their real agenda - and why do they have so many "volunteer" meetings, anyway?

No, my fellow Americans. We cannot wait until we're all goose-stepped into a massive book checkout line. This assault on capitalism and our very way of life has got to end. Be subversive ... burn your library card! Go out and buy a book!

Forewarned is forearmed!

To the gunwales!

Don't let the Socialists get away with this attack on capitalism ! ! ! !

H/T Lloyd

Fakin' It ? ? ? ?

Although I hesitate to fan the media flames of the S.C. Representative joe wilson saga, this breaking report from Andy Borowitz is too important to ignore:

Wilson Shouts ‘You Lie' After Wife Fakes Orgasm

Breach of Congressional Decorum, Experts Say

Rep. Joe Wilson (R-SC) courted controversy again today as he reportedly shouted "You lie" during a sexual encounter in which his wife pretended to have an orgasm.

While details of Rep. Wilson's latest outburst are sketchy at best, congressional experts say that it is totally against the decorum of the House of Representatives to speak out during a spouse's faked orgasm.

But the South Carolina congressman got a vote of support from a fellow Republican lawmaker, Sen. John Ensign (R-NV), who told reporters, "It's so rare for a Republican politician to have sex with his own wife, we should applaud it when it happens."

In a related story, President Obama said that Rep. Wilson's outburst during his speech Wednesday night was "productive," adding, "Joe Wilson highlighted the need for mental health care."

heh, heh, heh . . . .

Maher Rules . . . .

Bill Maher has a New Rule posted at The Huffington Post today.




Go.

Read.

Chuckle.

Snicker.

Guffaw.





Shake your head in astonishment.

A sampling:

A few weeks ago I was asked by Wolf Blitzer if I thought Sarah Palin could get elected president, and I said I hope not, but I wouldn't put anything past this stupid country. It was amazing - in the minute or so between my calling America stupid and the end of the Cialis commercial, CNN was flooded with furious emails and the twits hit the fan. And you could tell that these people were really mad because they wrote entirely in CAPITAL LETTERS!!!

_______________

At a recent town-hall meeting in South Carolina, a man stood up and told his Congressman to "keep your government hands off my Medicare," which is kind of like driving cross country to protest highways.

_______________

Nearly half of Americans don't know that states have two senators and more than half can't name their congressman. And among Republican governors, only 30% got their wife's name right on the first try.

I repeat:

Go.

Enjoy . . . .

Letterman on Caribou Barbie . . . .

Uncle Sam's Suckling Little Piggies . . . .

As only Lewis Black could explain:



End of story . . . .

Changing of the Guard . . . .

Tuesday humour, courtesy of Jim Morin of the Miami Herald:

The Real Morning in America . . . .

A good friend from California sent this, and it's worth sharing:

One sunny day in 2009 an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he'd been sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the U.S. Marine standing guard and said, 'I would like to go in and meet with President Bush.'

The Marine looked at the man and said, 'Sir, Mr. Bush is no longer president and no longer resides here.'

The old man said, 'Okay' and walked away.

The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, 'I would like to go in and meet with President Bush.'

The Marine again told the man, 'Sir, as I said yesterday, Mr. Bush is no longer president and no longer resides here.'

The man thanked him and, again, just walked away.

The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very same U. S. Marine, saying 'I would like to go in and meet with President Bush.'

The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said, 'Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mr. Bush. I've told you already that Mr. Bush is no longer the president and no longer resides here. Don't you understand?'

The old man looked at the Marine and said,

'Oh, I understand. I just love hearing it.'

The Marine snapped to attention, saluted, and said, 'See you tomorrow.'

Gotta love it . . . .

(H/T Paula)

Vancouver Centre Results Disappointing for Moi . . . .

Well, you probably were aware that I was doing some campaign volunteering for our local Vancouver Centre NDP candidate, Michael Byers. Unfortunately, my efforts and the efforts of a strong crew of volunteers weren't enough to unseat Hedy Fry from her 15 year grasp on our riding. Hey, at least the con candidate, aka, Lorne "Freak Out at the Queer Debate" didn't make it in! The Tyee has the results here. (This link marks my initial goal of only linking to independent news sources when available. We need to reduce the corporate media's influence whenever we can.)

On a lighter note, Jon Stewart of "The Daily Show" did a short recap of our recent federal election. Pay particular attention to his characterization of the Canadian conservative party.

Enjoy . . . .

"It's Canada for Me ! ! ! !"

This video is so reminiscent of "drf" and my feelings after george bush was re-appointed in 2004.

Note the city they choose at the end of the production. We totally concur.





Credit due to Ricky over at Queer Thoughts for finding this one.

UPDDATE: Thanks to cls in comments for giving us this tip for another clever video on the topic.

Political History . . . .

An archaeological team, digging in Washington DC Alberta, has uncovered 10,000 year old bones and fossil remains of what is believed to be the first Republican Harper Conservative.

Bridge Done. Send in the Clowns . . . .

Sorry.

Couldn't resist . . . .

This Year's Undecided Voter . . . .

Our friend David Drucker posted this cartoon today:

(Cartoon: Bruce Beattie)

I thought it highly appropriate for all past and future emigrants from the US to Canada . . . .

Presidential Perfection Perhaps ? ? ? ?

'Ya know if this were the case and WEB won - it would take all the fun out of blogging.

What would I have to bitch about ? ? ? ?

Time For Some Campaignin' . . . .

Friday humour.

Enjoy . . . .